an Apple a day

I dislike Apple. Or more accurately, I don’t trust it. Could be just the reverse snobbery influencing this emotion – like I say I dislike “brands”, but will still gravitate towards Amul cheese and not Brittania; Cinthol deo soap rather than other similar offerings (though all pale in comparison!). Or the urge to be non conformist – just because every one else is eagerly looking to acquire the next Apple gadget, I wont. Though I did enjoy the Ipod my BIL gave me and I did take on the Iphone 4s after moving to Singapore. I refuse to admit I like it. I was a sell-out. Oh the shame of it all! It’s useful certainly – when I want to check what movie is playing. When I lose my way during an evening jog. To check the time, my fb account, mails, my average run rate, calorie count for the day’s diet. Yes and when I want to call someone too. But I miss my old Nokia phones. I do not miss my old Samsung phone – my first deviance from Nokia since 2001. That damn gadget gave me so many problems. The Iphone has not been problem free either.

I feel vindicated when it doesn’t have a simple radio function like any other phone does. You have to download an app first. It’s pervaded virtually every activity you can do in a day. Then there is this fanatic surge of iphone friendly gadgets from other companies. They are all contributing to the meteoric rise in its share price. Suckers!!! Anything and everything can be connected to an Apple gadget. Contrary to other things, people don’t seem to mind that almost everyone else has an Iphone too…so it is a commodity…a luxury commodity.

It’s a strange phenomenon. Can you blame me if I think it is a force gathering its own free will? You can’t blame me for being suspicious that my current iphone 4s starts giving me problems the VERY SAME WEEK that the iphone 5 hits the stores? Or rather is prebooked to the extent of eliminating available stocks. I bet the master server of the Apple is controlling all these gadgets remotely. It laughs triumphantly at the willing slaves all over the world queuing up to buy its next offspring. Soon it will take over the world. I’m crossing over the line to “War of the Machines” now. There will be no war this time around. There will be people clutching Apple gadgets in a trance. They already do what the iphone/ipod/ipad bids them to do.

Their pets will soon be wearing icollars and playing with their iballs. Tigers in wildlife sanctuaries will use their ipreys to locate the youngest wildebeest which wanders away from the herd. While the wildebeest herd leader already has an app on its igraze to map out the hastiest run to safety. Pigeons will use their ishits to find the most inappropriate place or person’s head to dump on. There will be no other birds by then anyway. Champagne bottles will use their icorks to identify the most unwilling participant to release their contents on. In India cows will use their isnooze to find the day’s busiest traffic time to plan their naptime on the roads. Confirmed batchelors will use the icad to send a Dear Jane text to break off a relationship. Jellyfish will use the isting to uh..sting.

Irest my case.