I'm every woman!

I hope to have MPD (multiple personality disorder). Actually strike out the ‘D’ altogether – not a disorder the way I see it!

Let me introduce the characters:

1) D – The enthu cutlet. She wakes up bright and bushy tailed, goes for an energizing workout in the morning – yoga/ cardio – and comes back raring to go the rest of the day, goes to office on time, comes back, plays basketball/squash, martial arts, all the while watching what she eats (and likes it!)– keeps the body healthy and clean on the inside too. Gives Deepti ample time to loll about in bed and catch more Z’s, pig out and have some drinks and smokes in the evenings.

2) E – the erudite knowledge seeking one. Always looking for an opportunity to read more about things – the arts, history, geography, nature and wildlife, sciences, etc. She likes to enroll in language classes because she (ugh!) actually likes and is good at them. She has mastered Vedic maths and is reading up on metaphysics. Her current passion is astronomy – is getting a new star named after her, incidentally. Reads books, can quote poetry and obscure writers from Timbuktoo. Deepti gets to read her Archies and Calvin’s and watch Friends, Oprah etc in the meantime.

3) E2 – (thought against naming her ET!) – the high flying workaholic corporate exec. Very ambitious, perfectionist- knows exactly what she wants out of her career - of course has opted for the best moneymaking career - and is getting it –the penthouse in Manhattan, swiss chalet and beachhouse in Goa, fleet of cars – you know the routine, one for office, one for the house help to do provision shopping, weekend sports model and of course a SUV for the adventure holidays, has write-ups in all the big shot magazines and is scripting her success story for all the aspiring MBA fledgings. Her empire makes Presidents and politicians scramble to meet her and her employees stand in awe. Deepti is meanwhile content running her small café in Goa in tourist season and sipping port/beer on the beach during the off seasons.

4) P – the socialite – wakes up late, has a leisurely brunch with “the girls” at Indigo, Marriott and the likes, and then the usual parlor and shopping for the late night event ahead. Loves to drop the “dah-links” and the air kisses all around. Her outfits are the envy of the event and P gets her P3 airtime all the time! She can name the brand of her favourite under eye cream and leg makeup. The bling bling is her thing (affordable courtesy E2)! Oh might I add she has not needed any botox or lipo so far thanks to D’s exertions! Not your regular airhead – since E ensures she can have witty repartee with anyone under the sun. Deepti enjoys her quiet solitude and can relax in out of shape T’s and tracks at home, no need for threading/waxing and nail polish on the toes!

5) T – the bitchy vamp – no rules. Her way, her terms. Can chew up the best of them and spit em out! Does what she wants, when she wants, with whomever she wants!! No one dare give HER any crap – NO ONE! She can turn on the heat for any guy she wants and leave them panting for more. It helps that she is so totally hot! The women all hate her and want to be her. She can have one night stands/flings and not go the whole regret/guilt rigmarole. Has no expectations from people and is so self sufficient – needs to be! This leaves Deepti with no one standing in the way of her hogging, reading and general chilling out in life.

6) I – little miss adorable. Now she’s a doll. Everyone loves her, her family, her friends, perfect strangers. They all coddle her and never want anything to hurt her. She is full of life, cheerful, not a trace of malice, remembers small details about everyone she meets, can name all her distant relatives, a complete people’s person. Since I does all this, Deepti can blissfully ignore them all – not make polite conversation when she doesn’t want to or cant, and not have to worry about forgetting birthdays and names of relatives she cant for the life of her even remember meeting!

7) S – the adventurous one. S is all into traveling and trekking and the likes. Can rock climb with the best of them, does parachuting for fun. She loves nature and wildlife and is running her own conservation society. Nat Geo chases her for her photography and begs her to write for them – on the various tribes in most inaccessible parts of the world that S has spent time with. On quiet days she loves taking her tiger out for long walks around the reserve and wrestles with her pet pythons. S can pack up and set up camp anywhere and has been doing that all her life and loving it! Her favorite possession is her sailboat which she built herself and looks forward to take out at sea, especially during the freak summer storms. Deepti is a taurean to the core, loves the material comforts of a stable home and everything familiar.


Next post, will introduce you to A, G, A (dos) & R. By now, you should know you can’t rush Deepti into doing so much work at one time!